Gun Control


Gun Control

By John F. Rifenberg

    Now, I’m the hunter, brave and true, and this is my trusty gun.

    I hunt wild rabbits, ducks and geese and kill them just for fun.

    Those armor piercing, Teflon- coated bullets are the best.

    Especially for shooting those squirrels who wear bullet-proof vests.

   Now, I’m in the NRA, an honorable man.

   Defending the amendments rights as a good American can.

   Without the right to carry arms, we wouldn’t stand a chance.

   And then there’s all the stock I own in ammunitions plants.

   Now, I’m in the Senate and I’m nobody’s fool.

   I’m tough and independent, no special interest tool.

   Now, I believe in gun control, but all you need to know.

   The NRA is the group that gives me my campaign dough.

  Now, I was toilet trained at 23 ‘because I was insecure.

  I’m a paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.

  They locked me up because I waved my pee-pee at a nun.

  But, though I cannot drive or vote, I still can buy a gun!

So, if you’re the one who takes up the gun.

From the mantelpiece or shelf. 

Eliminate the middle man and shoot your damn self!


John Rifenberg is co-chairman of the writing group of Royal Palm Beach. He has just finished his newest book “The Alphabet Out of Order,” which is an assortment of stories and poems, including his award winning short stories.