The Diary of a Dog

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If a dog kept a diary, I think a normal week would go something like this.

Monday

Woke up early today to the sound of buzzing. It was one of the days when Dad leaves in his fancy pants and comes back just before dinner. Where does he go all day? Why doesn’t he take me?

Breakfast was served as usual. Tried to keep busy until my next meal. Hard to do as I must wait an eternity between feedings while the humans seem to eat whenever they please. Must find a way to access the vault of kibble. Thumbs would be very nice.

Tuesday

After breakfast, Mom and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. She was very good and stayed on the other end of the rope that keeps us connected. Maybe one day she won’t need me to guide her, and we can go walking without her rope. Will keep training her since she doesn’t seem ready to be unleashed and walk by herself yet. These things take patience.

Wednesday

Slept.

Thursday

The doorbell rang today and woke me from a nap. Looked out the window and saw a person holding a big brown box. Barked until he left. Sure to get extra treats for keeping everyone safe.

Friday

The humans were very happy today. Not sure why. Dad said something about a date. Don’t know what that word means, but when I hear it, the humans disappear for a while. They usually sit down and eat dinner in the evening, but they left before dinner. They must be hungry because they were gone for a very long time. Slept the whole time they were gone then ran to the door to greet them when they got back. Got lots of attention so it was good.

Saturday

No loud buzzing noise to wake us up today. Must be the day Dad puts on his outdoor feet and we get in his big black thing with wheels that takes us places. This is my favorite day. I wonder if we will go to the park or the nature trail or to get a pup cup or to the beach or pet store. Must stop writing now so I can keep my eyes on him and follow him everywhere he goes to make sure he doesn’t forget me. It is going to be a good day. I know it.

Sunday

Still tired from yesterday, but very happy. Spent the entire day with the humans. We did lots of fun stuff. The humans seem to feel the same way I do because they are resting a lot too. I even saw Dad sleep on the couch. Luckily, he didn’t fall off. It’s so much safer to sleep on the floor like I do.